Posted by: Jim | February 3, 2004

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Spurious George Spins a Yarn

Critics are decrying the inquiry into Bush’s bad intelligence. They claim it shouldn’t merely examine the sources and intelligence-gathering methods, but also the political spin put on the information by Washington politicians.

This seems like a good idea on the surface, but think about it. Proving the motives of spin is like proving a universal negative: it can’t be done. Listening to the he said/she said on the news commentaries would be like those painful conversations with your now ex-girlfriend in which you rehash certain events and conversations in excruciating detail. None of it matters. We will never be able to prove that Spurious George lied about Iraq to make his intent to invade more palatable by the average drooling American. Move along.

In the same way, Republicans will not be able to say for sure why a hell of a lot of Americans (or at least me and a few of my friends) aren’t going to vote for George W. Bush. They won’t know for sure, but if they “really want to know the facts” and were to launch an inquiry, they might discover that George’s web of lies had a “wardrobe malfunction” and that his naughty bits are being exposed.

Hey George … your balls are showing.

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