Posted by: Jim | February 17, 2004

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Cash was king. Cash still is king.

This story would have renewed my faith in humanity, but it is negated by the audacity of the ad-makers who Rosanne Cash rebuffed.

Since consumerism calms us when we have angst, provides us with rewards for good deeds, assuages our fears, etc., it has firmly rooted itself as the true religion in this country. So the prophets of consumerism feels they have the right to appropriate various sacred icons such as Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” … into an ad for hemorrhoid-relief products. Since they can’t use this song now, I’m sure they’ll be opting for Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl”.

Ad-makers feel they can do this because American’s don’t prize our icons as we should. You can’t rape the willing, right? Why not appropriate our greatest songs and sacrifice them to our gods of goods?

Here are some examples that ad-makers either haven’t thought of yet, or haven’t had the guts to propose: (OK, some of these might be British groups but the point still stands.)

1. Procol Harum “Whiter Shade of Pale” could sell flu medicine.
2. Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” could sell feminine deoderant.
3. Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” could sell viagra.
4. Blue Oyster Cult – “Don’t Fear The Reaper” could sell Laser Eye Surgery.
5. Barry McGuire – “The Eve Of Destruction” could sell the morning after pill.
6. Edgar Winter Group – “Free Ride” could announce new public toilets.
7. Filter – “Hey Man, Nice Shot” could promote The Lakers! (Funny if you know the song.)
8. Nine Inch Nails – “Hurt” could sell getting your pet fixed.
9. Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” could sell vericose vein surgery.
10. The Doors “The End” could sell mortuary plots.

And I could go on, but this is only marginally funny. Here are a few other songs that I couldn’t think of accompanying products. I obviously would make a poor ad consultant. Perhaps some of you can come up with some suggested products that these songs could sell?

1. Don McLean’s “American Pie”
2. Led Zeppelin – “Stairway To Heaven”
3. Cream – “White Room”

Or come up with your own …

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