Posted by: Jim | April 5, 2004


Time Travellin’

Sometimes a theme hits you with surprising consistency. Today’s theme is time travel. This morning I started reading (listening) to “The Time Traveller’s Wife“, a book sounding suspiciously like a romance. I’ll let you know later if it’s good if anyone cares.

Then today I get to The Ronkainen Project and if you dig down a bit you’ll see his request for submissions on Time Travel. If you had five stops to any time in the past, when would you visit, and what would you do there? It’s a fun little exercise. Send your responses to

So in light of the theme, I have a bizarre theory that I shall finally utter outside the region of my own skull. The only other person who has ever heard this theory is my ex-girlfriend Howie. So here it is in all its resplendant freshness:

Long ago, I determined that time travel would never be possible because if it was, we would have seen visitors from the future. Technology is never controlled by rational judgement, so given that it seemed obvious to me that humanity never figures out how to do it.

BUT … then one day it hit me like a 20-pound sack of russet potatoes; what if these tall, pale aliens that so many people claim to have close encounters with aren’t really from other planets at all. What if they are humans from the future? It would make sense that humans who travel through time might be genetically altered so as to perform this feat. And the reason they fiddle with our genitals is, of course, because they have contaminated their own genetic materials by so much cloning and stuff, and they need ours to fix their problem.

This is just obvious, and I will treat it as fact from now on.



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