Posted by: Jim | October 7, 2004

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More Non-political Fodder

I was just reminded of this story from a comment Chuck made to me on his blog.

File this one under “incredibly stupid things people do in corporate America.”

I used to work for a very large healthcare organization. I found out that one of my employees was printing out company business cards calling himself “Dr. Robert Namewithheld.”

Since after inheriting this employee (I did not hire him), I knew he was a compulsive liar in a very serious and psychotic way. We had already discovered that he had lied about his education on his resume, but HR was too chicken to allow us to fire him. “Ah ha!” I thought, when I found out he was portraying himself as a doctor. “This is my way of firing this weirdo.”

My boss and I called him into our office and inquired about his Doctoral status. He said he wasn’t lying, and that he had just achieved his doctorate. I asked him what his doctorate was in and he replied “Divinity.” I had gone to seminary myself, so I was curious which seminary he went to.

“ULC,” he said.

“What’s that stand for?” I asked.

He couldn’t remember what it stood for. Warning flag! He said I could look it up on the web.

My boss and I excused him and as soon as he left, I also excused myself and told my boss I would be back in a moment.

My hunch was correct: I came back in two minutes as an Ordained Minister from the Universal Life Church. W00t!

Even after hearing this story, Human Resources STILL wouldn’t let us fire Mr. Namewithheld, because he actually had gotten a Doctorate degree (pay $50 and you can too). I guess it didn’t matter that it was not from an accredited institution. But they did say we could make him stop passing out the cards saying he was a Doctor.

Crazy ass people in this world. Oh yeah. Chuck is ordained by them too!

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