Posted by: Jim | December 19, 2006

You Heard it Here First

I can’t escape the holidays while in the United States.  And while I don’t want to rain on everyone else’s parade (good for them for liking it), I seriously cannot stand Christmas. It might have something to do with the shorter days as well.

So I’ve decided. Next year, I will be getting out of Dodge. I’m traveling to Vietnam and Thailand with my buddy Brian. Instead of sweating it out at the mall while being forced to listen to miserable refrains of angels rejoicing, I will be sipping a Mai Tai on the beach in Phuket.

A note to the curious: this is not one of those “sex tours.” Ugh.


  1. Yeah, what HE said.


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  2. […] Another Envenomed Spewed by Venomous Kate in Featured Guests Folks, please welcome Jim, the latest Envenomed who’d rather be anywhere else but here for the holidays. 12.19.06 at 12:47 pm | More like this:»Fun With Buttons»Envenomed: Fox News»And In Other News… Send Trackback Trackback URL for this post: […]

  3. No, this definitely ain’t gonna be no ‘sex tour’ — neither the word ‘prostitute’ nor the phrase ’12 years old’ has any appeal to me whatsoever. Never mind the dreaded acronym ‘STD’. And I don’t have a paunch or a combover, though one could argue that my midlife crisis is in its full midlife bloom.

    No, Sir James has a girlfriend at home, and I am hopelessly in love with a woman I can’t have, because someone already does. Sigh.

    HOWEVER, from what I hear about the women in that part of the world — feminine, beautiful, actually NICE to you, unlike the angry, entitled, materialistic and mentally damaged 300-pound livestock that usually passes for Single American Female these days (all the good ones are taken) — we may in fact not come back at all.

    That is, unless my lovely, sexy, brilliant but as yet unavailable erstwhile pretend girlfriend gives me a reason between now and then.


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  4. congrats! i too hate christmas and refuse to celebrate it. however, if all goes well, i’ll be in costa rica while you two are in asia. i was hoping to go this year, but oh well. i’m just staying home and boycotting. 🙂

  5. also, all humans have baggage. your just going to a culture where women are still taught to be silent about things they don’t like and that men are their salvation. of course they’ll be nice!

  6. See what I mean?

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  7. 🙂 that wasn’t mean, just true. to think that women in other countries don’t carry emotional baggage doesn’t make sense. all humans carry emotional baggage. it’s how we’re made. i know several women who were raised in south korea and one who was raised in japan. all four say the same thing. rule number one was never argue with a man since they could make or break you. especially an american man. they have told me that even if the women are granted equality on paper, life in their countries does not reflect that.

  8. I think cultural differences are alluring until you get to know the person well enough to penetrate the cultural veneer.

    We’re all the same deep down. We’re all selfish, and we all want to be loved, respected, and appreciated. Women in different cultures have been taught to gain those things in different ways, however. Some ways work better than others. 🙂

    I did not think this post would go this direction, but the feminine culture in the US is just getting started in a new direction in the past few decades. It’s hard to nail down (so to speak) what that even means. The sexual dynamic in the US is horribly broken, possibly because of the shift in gender roles. But for whatever the reason, there is a huge disparity between what women say they want, what they *really* want, and what men can deliver. It’s a recipe for unhappiness until this culture can figure it out.

  9. i agree that ‘some ways work better than others’, but to always be ‘nice’ and accepting when you are not happy cannot be healthy for anyone. and we’re speaking in generalities, rather than specifics. since i happen to know both you and bri outside of blogland, i can say that the women of southeast asia are in for a treat!

    i don’t know that the sexual dynamic in this country is broken, but i sure think it’s damaged. i think the shift in gender rolls is part of the problem, but, obviously, not all of it.

    you are correct about the disparity of what many women say they want, really want, etc. many of us were raised with the idea that if what we wanted didn’t conform to certain ideals, then it was wrong to want it. i have found that many women don’t even know what they *really* want. they want what they think they *should* want and that is often very different. and you’re right, it’s a recipe for unhappiness.

    and bri, that attitude of entitlement is not limited to american women. i see it in men and especially in our current adolescent generation.

  10. 1. Gorgeous picture. Go!
    I can see you two snorkeling in that lagoon…
    Nah, not really. Mai-Tai’s on the boat maybe…
    2. I can see why you can’t stand Christmas, and you aren’t raining on MY parade. I like Christmas, and just look beyond the gross materialism of it nowadays.
    3. In my opinion, being NICE comes simply from caring about another, regardless of baggage.
    Beauty comes from within, and if a woman is genuinely happy with herself and her life choices, she will be aimiable.
    Oh and Bri,
    I think that erstwhile pretend girlfriend would die if you never came back 😉

  11. Wow, sounds like a grand plan, Jim and Bri. I don’t have the same hatred of the holiday season as y’all, but I wouldn’t mind spending the holidays somewhere nice and warm. SoCal just ain’t cutting it for me right now.

    However, I have to say that, yes, many women are as you’ve painted them, Bri. So are many men, as I’ve found out in my dating escapades.

    But more often I’ve come across both men and women who are genuinely good and nice people, but they don’t have a clue about what they really want. That’s where the disconnect happens and that’s when unintentional “leading on” occurs. Mixed messages abound in such an environment. Oh, I have been the recipient of men’s confusion more often than I’d like. And, unfortunately, there have been times when I’ve been the purveyor of such mixed messages.

    Thank heavens my current boyfriend cut through the mixed messages I was sending him at the onset of our relationship. Sometimes persistence pays off…

  12. B- you’re right, there are a lot of very angry people out there.

    S- i agree wholeheartedly that those who are happy with themselves and their life choices, both men and women, will be amiable.

    C- i think you nailed it; most people are genuinely nice, but don’t know what they want.

    and that combination is the key. figuring out what it is that you really want so that you can make appropriate choices.

    i think many people AREN’T happy with their life choices because those choices were not based on what they really wanted. i know that was the case with me, as well as with a few others i know.

    i’m the lucky one. i finally figured out what it is that i want and have altered my life accordingly. the result is that i am happy and enjoying my life to the fullest.

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