Posted by: Jim | January 3, 2007

God Tells Me Things, So You Should Listen To Me

Pat Robertson, king of the Wacktards, has made a frightening prediction.

The Lord told him that there will be a mass terrorist killing on American soil in late 2007, specifically after September.

For what reason has The Lord revealed this to him? Should we do something to avoid imminent distruction? Should we repent? This was not stated.

The Lord has revealed something to me as well. On March 19th, 2007, a huge flock of birds will converge on a small coastal community in California. And some time in the next 5 years, a major earthquake will hit California. Fear and tremble, people!

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Responses

  1. I think Pat Robertson should be arrested immediately, trucked off to Gitmo, and interrogated vigorously. He has valuable knowledge of impending terrorist attacks that could be used to prevent them.

  2. Can you drive a truck to Cuba?

  3. Yes, you can. The Gulf is that polluted.

    * * *

  4. Can you parse a verb?

  5. No, but you can arse a perv.

    * * *

  6. “Hey Pat! It’s Me, God! Just kidding, man. It’s your ass speaking in tongues again. Hey, put on your Jimmy Swaggart and I’ll give ya an Oral Roberts, OK?”

    * * *

  7. Not even sure what you guys are talking about, but ok. How should the truck statement have been, er, stated?

  8. Okay, Todd, I’ll play “Placate the Pedant.”

    “…SHIPPED off to Gitmo…”

    Congratulations, you win a lollipop. Go you.

  9. Play nice, kids. Or God will smite thee.
    Pat says it; I believe it; that settles it.

    😉

    * * *


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