Posted by: Jim | September 17, 2007

20 Words that Shook … Nothing

It’s all over the news: In his new book, Alan Greenspan said, “I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil.”

That’s all he said about it.

Is this news because Greenspan, originally a Reagan appointee, said it? Do people listen harder when he emits his statements? So now people are suddenly realizing that the war was about oil? Duh?

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Responses

  1. And here I was all along thinking it was about controlling the world’s supply of Baklava.

    Oh great. So now I have cases of the delectable honey-soaked treat rotting in my storage unit, and I’ve been battling an endless scourge of ants for nothing.

    * * *

  2. But … Baklava is good.

    (inside joke, folks.)

  3. Yes, Baklava IS good. That is why we MUST build the trans-Persian pastry conveyor belt (TPPCB), to assure a constant supply of the precious sweetmeat. If some blood should be spilled along the way, then it must be so, as it is written. For Jesus said, “verily, blood is thicker than water, but honey is thicker yet.”

    Some say the succulent snack originated in Greece; others Turkey. Some even claim it was the Assyrians who devised it, whoever the heck THEY were. But we all know that it was actually the holy manna from Heaven that the Lord did bestow upon the tribes of Israel, and they alone were anointed as keepers of the Holy Pastry, until that time when the Chosen Ones, America, could take up the anointing as The New Jerusalem as it is written in Bullshitticus 3:16.

    For Baklava, only in the mouth of a Patriotic and Faithful True Believer in the Burning Bush, transubstantiates into the nutty, crispy yet chewy, Messianic goodness of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And the honey doth verily turn to His blood drizzling down our chins, which washeth away all our sins and maketh us white as snow. And the sons of Ishmael will thusly be reproached and we shalt slay them, and their women and children and camels, wheretofore we shalt find them, in their tents and their temples, until The Pastry that art our blessed divine right be restored to its fit and proper sanctuary in the Holy of Holies that the Lord Himself didst sanctifieth in the Temple Of Costco.

    Amen.

    * * *


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