Posted by: Jim | January 13, 2008

Bush the Bully


Hey, Iran, what are you looking at?

Yes you are, I saw you looking at me. What the fuck is your problem?

Didn’t you see him looking at me? Yeah, he was laughing too. This guy thinks he’s tough. You think you’re tough, don’t you? Well I don’t think you’re very tough.


I’m gonna kick your sorry mother fucking ass all over the Mideast.


You know what happened to the last guy who looked at me like that?




  1. It’s like that Bill Hicks sketch on Shane…

    “Pick up the gun…”

    “But I don’t wanna…”

    “Pick up the gun…”

    “I ain’t lookin’ for no trouble…”

    “Pick up the gun…”

    Kid picks up the gun


    “You all saw… he had a gun…”

  2. Huh? All of this anti-Bush rhetoric and not one mention of Iran’s provocative activities on the high seas? Jimmy, did you get some new blinders for Christmas?

    I see the same article from the Clinton News Network in a much different way.

    Don’t fuck with us.

    Damn straight.

  3. The Iran video is flimsy evidence to go to war with. I could have made that video on my computer with TV footage and a use a deep scary voice that says “You will explode in 2 minutes.” Flimsier than the WMDs. Flimsier than Saddam’s role in 9/11.

    Sorry, we’ve been fooled before. And in the immortal words of Bush himself, “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again!”

  4. LOLZ… nice jib.

  5. I thought the deep scary voice sounded like a Mexican trying to sound from the Middle East. Think they outsourced the voice-over?
    Yeah, I didn’t buy into the video either. It sounded too much like the Iraq rhetoric when they were supposedly our biggest terrorist threat. Same bullshit lines just a different country.
    I can’t wait for the election to be over. Anyone has to be better than what we have now!!

  6. Yes. When Iran comes and sails its war ships just off American coastal waters, we can see how much Todd thinks of that.

    In all seriousness, Todd, you are clutching at straws, the Pentagon itself distanced itself from the spin that was given this encounter by the news networks, numerous parties have admitted the voice on the radio could come from anywhere, both sides engaged in propagandistic editing of the video, and the US ship involved thought so little of the potential danger of the objects dropped in the water that it did not even issue a warning to other ships in the area.

    The only thing I can think is that 1) everything/anything that does not agree with your political opinions becomes attributed to the dark forces of the Clintons or who, George Soros, maybe, and that 2) perhaps you want war, fair enough, just say it, but base your desires on something that has actually happened, rather than just some pro-war spin of what appears to have been a non-event

    As for your “Don’t fuck with us” – doesn’t that just about say it all. It’s the redneck asshole on his porch with a shotgun, playing tough guy. Iran may have its own issues with regard to foreign policy, but take out the world map and point to a place where they’ve killed 150,000 civilians in the last 6 years.

    “Don’t fuck with us” – Maybe America should stop fucking with sovereign nations and using a doctrine of pre-emptive war and start acting more like the good guys again.

    Good to see Bush in the House of Saud again, no need to mention where all the 9/11 hijackers came from, no, especially with another big arms deal to shake hands on. Poor Todd probably still thinks Saddam Hussein was involved (bankrolled by the Clintons, Jimmy Carter, and Edward Kennedy’s love children).

  7. Links

    This is from The Times of London, owned by right-wing Fox proprietor, Rupert Murdoch, Todd, so I doubt you can dispute its impeccable credentials

    Money quote:

    “The Pentagon admitted that it was not sure where the voice had come from and could not confirm that the threat had emanated from one of the five Iranian Revolutionary Guard speedboats approaching three US warships at speed in the Strait of Hormuz.”

  8. I think everyone should stop picking on Todd. It’s perfectly reasonable for us to go to war with Iran over five speedboats buzzing our warships. They might have scratched the paint on one of them! Don’t fuck with our paint job!

  9. Todd sadly thinks it’s a left/right thing, hence the irrelevant Clinton reference, whereas it’s clearly an Acting Somewhat Rational versus a Let’s Trigger Global War kinda thing.

    Maybe we can just get a Microsoft Net Meeting together for Todd and Iran’s leaders. Todd can warn them personally “Don’t fuck with us” and then they will know just what they’re up against!

    Next day’s headlines in the Iranian press…


    Iran’s leaders yesterday finally succumbed to growing pressure from the US. In a departure from normal diplomatic relations, citizen enforcer, Todd, held an informal video chat via MSN with the Iranian mullahs. Clad all in black and holding a lump hammer, Todd declared “Don’t fuck with us” – This was then translated into Arabic. After a few moments consultation, Iran’s leaders agreed to stop their nuclear program (despite the US intel NIE that delcares this program stopped in 2003) and build over. On Todd’s advice, the leaders declared that a 24 hour Starbucks and a Popeye’s chicken diner would be located at the site, with both franchises scheduled to be opened, on Todd’s advice, by a delegation consisting of Todd himself, Dick Cheney, Lou Dobbs, and the Teletubbies, in fall of 2008. Said Todd, after the meeting. “I was pumped but I told them – Don’t fuck with us – and I think they heard me. The world is now a safer place.”

  10. It’s easy to say “don’t fuck with us” if you think you’re just talking to Iran. But you’re not.

    What we’re dealing with is one of the largest oil exporting nations who does not export oil to the US. Their customers are China and Russia.

    So we’re not dealing with a punk rogue nation who is scrabbling to put together a little nuclear bomb, and who (might be) circling our powerful warships with scruffy little speedboats saying menacing things over the radio and giggling in Farsi afterward. We’re dealing with a nation who has two extremely powerful friends, and who rely on Iran’s oil SO MUCH that they would go to war for it.

    You better learn how to say “Don’t fuck with us” in Mandarin.

  11. I think you might have meant Iran and not Iraq in that comment (near ‘SO MUCH’)

    I am going to China this year, I will post a youtube clip, how to say “Don’t fuck with us” in Mandarin (and Cantonese), in order to facilitate clearer communications between the powers.

  12. thanks … I’ll fix it.

  13. By the way, I should say that a United force of Russia and China would mop the floor with the US. So in the vast field of diplomacy blunders, there was only ONE steaming pile of poo that Bush could step in that would utterly destroy America, and that would be to get Russia and China on our backs.

    They BOTH have reasons to do this. China’s ascendancy is inevitable and they want to hurry up and get their piece of the pie, dammit. Russia needs to jumpstart its own economy with a winnable war, and Putin is just aching to flex his muscles. And here is Mr. Bush with his Patent Leathers hovering over the doggy doo of doom …

  14. Bush is obviously a Chinese mole. Ever see ‘The Manchurian Candidate’? Not the Denzel remake which wasn’t bad, but the original brilliant Cold War classic. Gives me chills how familiar it now seems. Dub-ya was sent here to destroy us, to make way for the Numba One Rucky Double Happiness New Wold Oldah.

    And Todd is also a mole, but an actual one — you know, those blind little hairless fuckers who dig through your garden, thinking they’re just getting lucky with such a God-given motherlode of fresh vegetables. They don’t pay much attention to anything else, because it all seems just fine to them. And then one day, somebody buys some mole poison, and that’s that. Of course, the irony is that the poisoners are the same folks who provided the fortuitous bounty of free veggies in the first place, so undoubtedly little Mister Mole’s last mole thought is the mole version of ‘what did I do? Why do they hate me?’

    Love ya, Toddie. You’d make a great pet — except for all those nose marks on my walls from you constantly bumping into them.

    * * *

  15. FYI: The “we’re gonna bomb ya” radio call recorded by the Navy was from a well-known prankster:

  16. I think Todd has gone to ground, maybe he thinks war with Iran has already been declared.

    There’s one very scared man living on Doritos in a basement somewhere in the MidWest right now!

    For God’s sake, Todd, put the batteries in the radio, nothing worse than the Mittster winning Michigan has happened!

  17. Actually, thinking about the MidWest, there are probably thousands of scared men living on Doritos in basements there, some are waiting out the Yellow Peril from the first time around! They’ll come back up just in time for the Chinese invasion and be like,

    “Dang! I knowed it, I doggone knowed it! Yup, they’re controlling America Arlene and y’all can swallow yer cyanide pills right about now…”

    Accent is terrible, but you get the idea…

  18. Me and Todd do try to get by in our sod huts and 40-acres, here in the fly-over states. In fact, I traded in my covered wagon and horse team for some new fangaled invention called the “horseless carriage” last week. WOOT! I get 1.6 miles per pound of coal; cheaper than oats, lemme be the first tell you. There is even some jawin’ going on at the barber-shop when I went in for my weekly bleeding and leech treatment, that some damn thing called the aero-plane can take a man from Kansas City to New Your City in less than 18 hours! The tickets ain’t cheap though, and I would probably have to sell off one or two of my nigras to pay for passage. Some folks say that e-lect-tricity may come here, after the telegraph lines are put up and all.

  19. Venjanz!

    Very funny, in fact, a downright hilarious way to kick off my day.

  20. Yes, thanks Tommy! It helped me detoxify from a particularly “corporate” start of my day.

  21. What a farci-cal error.

    It’s okay if I make a mistake, after all, I am not in a rush to wipe them out.

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