Posted by: Jim | February 5, 2008

Come Join The Party

vote-vomit_lg.jpg

I’m lying. I actually haven’t voted yet, but I will later.

I will vote and I won’t feel good about it. An old friend of mine Ben Tripp, says it best in his blog on “The Smirking Chimp.”

“It’s the act of voting that matters, the cleansing sense of absolution despite the context, like confessing one’s sins to a pederast priest. “

But still, if I don’t vote I would have no right to criticize our government. And as I near my twilight years, many of life’s joys are bobbing in the wake behind me like nostalgic flotsam. One of the joys I’m not willing to let go of is poking at the beast we call government. So vote I must. Vote I will. If I don’t vote I deserve the government I get, and the same goes for you, sucker.

Ironically, this year we will have an amazing record turnout of voters, even though it seems like now, more than ever before, the election is about as important as whether I eat genuine Top Ramen or the generic store brand of Top Ramen. It’s all the same shit, and it has no nutritional value. I’m not even sure anymore that if I buy genuine Top Ramen if the package isn’t secretly stuffed with the generic brand. How would I know?

The fact is, there are no longer two political parties: there is one. Should we call them the Republicrats? Or the Demicans? Maybe they’re the pale-skinned guys with chattering teeth from “Dark City” who manipulate our reality while we sleep. Whoever they are, they are all the same. The two parties act as if they are duking it out, and the media acts as if the two parties are dramatically different. It’s poppycockery at its finest, and we are all fools for buying it.

But vote anyway. It may be the seventh veil, but as long as we vote, we’re not naked.

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Responses

  1. Happy Chinese New Year! Today begins the Year of the Rat… how fitting.

  2. Actually, while it’s tempting to agree that they’re all the same, I beg to differ. A better description would be that they all suck from the same corrupt nipple — at least the ones who make it to Stupor Tuesday — but some of them suck harder.

    So we vote for the one we hope sucks the least.

    Of course, that doesn’t even take into account that the system is hopelessly broken and rigged, but that’s a different discussion, over cocktails…and not the kind you drink.

    * * *

  3. Well put, Jim. While I like McCain, ZZ Top still has a chance to creep in with a victory, just like in 1984. I believe this makes me a ROCKpublican.

  4. I get really into it all, you know? I watch the numbers with hopeful eyes, hoot, holler and jump when one does well and cast my head into my hands when the bad guys win little victories. I know it shouldn’t be about good triumphing over evil, but it really feels that way, like the world will fall into disarray unless the guys I’m rooting for win. I’m so glad the Giants pulled it off last Sunday.

    It is a sad fact Uncle Jim, but it has been the generic ‘noodles’ in that pack for decades. While I wouldn’t say the big parties are the same, neither can offer what this country needs. It is so frustrating to look back at the intelligence and conviction of our nations historic leaders. They clearly weren’t perfect, but I think they had beliefs and balls where today’s candidates have flash and money. The real kicker: the best person to run our country is probably some professor in the UCs, or maybe an ex-pat old guy in Scandinavia who couldn’t eat the shit anymore… or a soccer mom.

  5. NOOOoooo not a soccer mom please! I want my porn and my small car convertible and my potty mouth. They will make those things illegal.

    I agree Daniel (yes folks, I am his Uncle.) And what is plainly evident this election is that the system is extremely effective at moving true change agents OUT of the system. Cases in point: Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich. Both were radical outsiders with ideas that would truly make a difference. People WANT these kinds of candidates, as evidenced by the enormous grass-roots support for Ron Paul, but it still wasn’t enough to eclipse the powerful corporate-backed contenders, who quibble over faux issues like who is more liberal.

    It’s enough to make me want to concoct one of Bri’s cocktails.

  6. Ah, Uncle Jim. I love the smell of napalm in the morning…

    * * *


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