Posted by: Jim | August 6, 2008

“We’re not Telling you How to Vote, We’re just saying that IF you vote Democratic it would be really, really horrible.” -WalMart

See the full story here.

Wal-Mart is saying that the Democrats will lead to Unions, and that Unions will hurt its workers. When it comes to hurting their workers, Wal-Mart should know.

“The Wall Street Journal cited about a dozen unidentified Wal-Mart employees who had attended such meetings in seven states as saying they were told that employees at unionized shops would have to pay big union dues while not receiving any benefits in return.”

If employees would get nothing, why is Wal-Mart so afraid? Hmm.

Joking aside, Unions might be the one thing that could save us from ourselves. Unions are the necessary and natural outcome of a capitalist society that would otherwise consume its own customers. We’ve learned that once Unions do their job, however, they stick around too long and end up being a self-perpetuating pain in the ass. Still, if there’s one thing this country needs right now, it’s Unions. 

And Wal-Mart is against them. Therefore, since I like Unions, and Wal-Mart doesn’t like Unions … wait for it … I don’t like Wal-Mart either. So here’s a word to everyone that works for Wal-Mart: if you know what’s good for you, ignore the bullshit and vote Democratic so you can Unionize and make your life a little better.

Nay-sayers: “UNIONS??? God forbid my toilet paper cozy costs go up 10%! Jesus wants me to get my kettle korn at ridiculously low prices and anyone stopping that must be an agent of Satan! I’m going to get my my motorized wheelchair right now and get down to Wal-Mart and buy a year’s supply of them yummy hot dogs–a’fore you know it the blue-shirted employees will be wearing fancy shoes but I won’t be able to buy 18 hot dogs for $4! I’ll have to only buy 15! I’m-a gonna STARVE!”


  1. The WalMart will not tolerate your insubordination. You will be assimilated.

    * * *

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