After a few months away, thinking, I’ve come to some conclusions regarding this blog.
My overtly stated purpose was simply to confront society with the danger that religion is posing to us all (which I still ardently believe.) But beneath that purpose was a subconscious impetus, which has since moved into my conscious and I will freely state it now: I wanted to convince Christians that faith is a bad choice.
I feel certain that I possessed some psychological underpinning that drove me to “fix” the flaw in other people that I deemed to be a simple error in thinking. The journey out of faith for me was emotionally traumatizing but intellectually simple. I spent 20 years of my life believing and trusting in God as a divine “friend,” believing in the ultimate reward of eternal life, believing that I was a horrible sinner at my core, believing that society was being corrupted by Satan, and believing that it was my duty to risk life and limb to salvage the eternal souls of other people.
Then, I accidentally learned how to think (mostly by reading books, attending college, and talking to other thinkers.) The doubts I confronted gave me the courage to start thinking correctly and honestly. Once I did that, my faith dried up, shriveled, and fell off me like a scab.
The damage of realizing that my faith was a huge lie will probably stay with me until I die. I have no desire for your sympathy or sadness because even at age 13 my choice to embark on a misguided life of faith was mine, and I take responsibility for it. But I realize now that perhaps my desire to “save” other people from this fateful decision was really an attempt to heal myself of the aforementioned damage.
While attempting to heal myself by helping others, I learned that many Christians do not think that intelligence is a virtue. They eschew logic as flawed. For them, science is suspect, and facts lead to deception. For them, the only way to find knowledge is to embrace ignorance. Their choice to remain blissfully attached to a cancerous, iron-age philosophy is not the result of a lack of intelligence, but merely a fearful abandonment of intellectual courage.
Though I resisted it for some time, the meat of the matter is this: people of faith are not fixable by any external means. Those to be fixed will, as I did, fix themselves. My erstwhile subconscious goal was futile, and so I will now officially stop.
“It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.” – Jonathan Swift